This week, the girl that I was dating and I broke up. Ironically, many of the principals in this book applied to this experience. The one that stuck out to me the most I will describe below.
During our relationship I did everything that I could think of to try to make this girls life a little better. I bought her little surprises, tried to resolve every problem she mentioned, and I consciously did and said things to let her know that I cared. From my position, I was being a good boyfriend. However, she was still unhappy with our relationship and I could not understand why.
Upon reading the book and recounting past conversations in my head, I realized that she was uncomfortable with me doing all those things. Her perception was that I did not respect her Independence and I thought that she could not take care of herself. While this perception could not be further from the truth, this book taught me that the golden rule (always treat others as you would have them treat you is wrong). The correct statement should be, "always treat others how they would want you to treat them." Good intentions that are perceived to be bad intentions have the same effect as bad intentions.
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